This is hilarious! the most stupid geeky jokes I ever heard! While learning for the SCJP exam I’ve found some of these
- Chuck Norris can make a class that is both abstract and final.
- Chuck Norris serializes objects straight into human skulls.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t deploy web applications, he roundhouse kicks them into the server.
- Chuck Norris always uses his own design patterns, and his favorite is the Roundhouse Kick.
- Chuck Norris could use anything in java.util.* to kill you, including the javadocs.
- Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your web app will turn into a swing application, and a very bad swing application containing lots of icons of human skulls.
- Chuck Norris demonstrated the meaning of Float.POSITIVE_INFINITY by counting to it, twice.
- A synchronize doesn’t protect against Chuck Norris, if he wants the object, he takes it.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t use javac, he codes java by using a binary editor on the class files.
- Chuck Norris’ java code never needs to be optimized. His code is so fast that it broke the speed of light during a test run in Sun’s labs killing 37 people.
- When someone attempts to use one of Chuck Norris’ deprecated methods, they automatically get a roundhouse kick to the face at compile time.
- The java.lang package originally contained a ChuckNorris class, but it punched its way out the package during a design review and roundhouse kicked Bill Joy in the face.
- Chuck Norris never has a bug in his code, EVER!
- Chuck Norris doesn’t write code. He stares at a computer screen until he gets the progam he wants.
- Code runs faster when Chuck Norris watches it.
- Chuck Norris’ binary edited classes ignore Java bytecode verifier.
- Chuck Norris methods doesn’t catch exceptions becuase no one has the guts to throw any at them.
- Chuck Norris will cast a value to any type just by staring at it.
- If you get a ChuckNorrisException you’ll probably die.
- Chuck Norris is the only one who can use goto and const in Java.
- Chuck Norris can compile Java code in .NET Framework, obviously just by staring at it.
- Chuck dont need to catch an Exception because Java is afraid of the “flying tornado kick” at the moment it throws
- Chuck Norris’s code can roundhouse kick all other Java Objects’ privates
- Java visibility levels are public, default, protected, private and “protected by Chuck Norris”, don’t try to access a field with this last modifier!!
- Chuck Norris eats JavaBeans and Roundhouse Kicks JavaServer Faces!
- Chuck Norris can divide by 0!
- Garbage collector only runs on Chuck Norris code to collect the bodies.
- Chuck Norris code uses agressive heap natively
- Every single line code of Chuck Norris runs in real time. Even in a multi threading application.
- When a CPU load a Chuck Norris class file, it doubles the speed.
- Chuck Norris can execute 64bit lenght instructions in a 32bit CPU.
- Chuck Norris implements “Indestructible”. All the other creatures implements “Killable”.
- Chuck Norris only program Java web applications to get a .WAR in the end.
- Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a Java class very hard. The result is known as a inner class.
- Chuck Norris can do multiple inheritance in Java.
- JVM never throws exceptions to Chuck Norris, not anymore. 753 killed Sun engineers is enough.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t need unit tests because his code always work. ALWAYS.
- Chuck Norris extends God.
- Chuck Norris workstation has so memory and it’s so powerful that he could run all java applications in the world and get 2% of resources usage.
- Chuck Norris codes generics since 1.3.
- Chuck Norris’ classes can’t be decompiled… don’t bother trying.
Alright now, you can lough … not.
No related posts.
40 comments
11 pings
HELP says:
November 21, 2008 at 8:47 am (UTC 2 )
lol this was mental and funny xD
[Reply]
Vishwajeet Singh says:
May 10, 2009 at 9:28 am (UTC 2 )
This is hilarious
[Reply]
Vladimir says:
May 10, 2009 at 10:34 am (UTC 2 )
[Reply]
Sunira says:
May 10, 2009 at 6:35 pm (UTC 2 )
That was beyond awesome!
[Reply]
David says:
May 11, 2009 at 4:57 am (UTC 2 )
“Chuck Norris can do multiple inheritance in Java.”
…can’t everyone?
[Reply]
Kamal says:
May 11, 2009 at 12:45 pm (UTC 2 )
@David: Good point
. But Chuck Norris can probably inherit from more than 2 parents, and without a compiler. Chuck FTW! *COUGH*
[Reply]
teo says:
May 11, 2009 at 2:32 pm (UTC 2 )
@David
Nope, I’m afraid only Chuck Norris can.
[Reply]
sigh says:
May 11, 2009 at 9:41 pm (UTC 2 )
is it 2006 still?
[Reply]
echo says:
May 12, 2009 at 12:12 am (UTC 2 )
This Store is Under Chuck Norris Patronage!
[Reply]
arjo says:
May 12, 2009 at 5:46 am (UTC 2 )
whole bunch o’crap!
[Reply]
nishu says:
May 12, 2009 at 12:44 pm (UTC 2 )
Chuck Norris extends God.
^ wrong
ChuckNorris supers God.
[Reply]
muslim says:
May 12, 2009 at 2:18 pm (UTC 2 )
No one can extend GOD
there us no GOD but ALLAH
la ilaha illa ALLAH
لا إله إلا الله
[Reply]
muslim says:
May 12, 2009 at 2:20 pm (UTC 2 )
No one can extend GOD
there is no GOD but ALLAH
la ilaha illa ALLAH
لا إله إلا الله
[Reply]
ALLAH is a faggie says:
May 12, 2009 at 4:48 pm (UTC 2 )
Allah is a fucking bitch!! no Allah..
There is only GOD
[Reply]
Amine says:
May 12, 2009 at 7:55 pm (UTC 2 )
GOD = Allah in Arabic language. So be careful men !!!
[Reply]
belly says:
May 12, 2009 at 7:57 pm (UTC 2 )
Amine, behave yourself!
[Reply]
Anon says:
May 12, 2009 at 8:09 pm (UTC 2 )
Guys, ‘muslim’ is making comments to provoke everybody.
[Reply]
Bob says:
May 12, 2009 at 11:17 pm (UTC 2 )
Obviously, Chuck Norris would kick Allah’s but too.
[Reply]
Quantum says:
May 13, 2009 at 10:20 am (UTC 2 )
This is really outstanding
[Reply]
Krishna R says:
May 15, 2009 at 7:56 am (UTC 2 )
Better one would be “Code runs faster when Chuck Norris *chases* it
”
[Reply]
Josse says:
May 15, 2009 at 2:10 pm (UTC 2 )
Guys, stop arguing about God and Allah!!! See the rule “Chuck Norris can do multiple inheritance in Java.” so similarly:
He can supers both of them at one time, including Krishna and others.
[Reply]
ovidiu says:
May 15, 2009 at 3:05 pm (UTC 2 )
Nobody knows something about God for sure, but maybe God (or whatever names used by the poor mortals) likes Chuck Norris jokes
)
[Reply]
C says:
May 15, 2009 at 3:20 pm (UTC 2 )
@David:
“Java suppresses several features (such as operator overloading and multiple inheritance) for classes in order to simplify the language and to prevent possible errors and anti-pattern design.”
[Reply]
dfdfasdfasf says:
May 23, 2009 at 3:06 pm (UTC 2 )
ihuj
[Reply]
KattyBlackyard says:
June 14, 2009 at 6:33 pm (UTC 2 )
Original post by Dmitri Gromov
[Reply]
ovidiu says:
June 15, 2009 at 3:06 am (UTC 2 )
how can it be?
[Reply]
ap says:
July 15, 2009 at 1:03 am (UTC 2 )
“javac recognizes closures if they were written by Chuck Norris”?
[Reply]
ovidiu Reply:
July 15th, 2009 at 1:29 am
hahhaaha .. that one was good
)
[Reply]
Edwin Dalorzo says:
August 4, 2009 at 9:37 pm (UTC 2 )
Rather funny! I really enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing it. I am passing the link to all my colleagues.
[Reply]
pbitreras says:
October 28, 2009 at 8:36 pm (UTC 2 )
LOL, Chuck Norris opens all source too.
[Reply]
@catchpolenet says:
January 23, 2010 at 8:15 am (UTC 2 )
Chucks Norris’s code isn’t compiled “just in time”, its compiled
“without warning”.
Chucks Norris’s code doesn’t accept input. It knows what to do.
Chucks Norris’s code doesn’t have the option to Quit.
Chucks Norris’s JVM doesn’t collect garbage, it takes out the trash.
[Reply]
Read Jokes Online says:
January 28, 2010 at 5:05 pm (UTC 2 )
Thanks for this great joke.
[Reply]
evil cat says:
May 6, 2010 at 4:41 pm (UTC 2 )
Greetings! Can I, take some pics from your webpage for my PC wallpapper?
[Reply]
ovidiu says:
May 6, 2010 at 11:55 pm (UTC 2 )
yes, of course, for some I’m not the owner
[Reply]
dsadsa says:
July 8, 2010 at 8:20 pm (UTC 2 )
/* Comment removed by Chuck Norris!!! */
[Reply]
Tomm says:
October 24, 2010 at 8:11 am (UTC 2 )
Hello Everybody it\‘s really good article
. I hope that it is no last topic.
[Reply]
Pośrednictwo pracy says:
November 25, 2010 at 5:50 pm (UTC 2 )
Dude, gimme more!
[Reply]
Ziggy says:
November 29, 2010 at 1:41 pm (UTC 2 )
We are such dorks. Chuck Norris and Java FTW!
[Reply]
george says:
June 3, 2011 at 1:44 am (UTC 2 )
lol, cool
[Reply]
Ratamahatta says:
August 10, 2011 at 3:36 pm (UTC 2 )
Chuck Norris is the only one who can use sizeof in Java.
[Reply]
Chuck Norris Java jokes | DBMS2 -- DataBase Management System Services says:
May 12, 2009 at 9:37 am (UTC 2 )
[…] a long list of Chuck Norris Java jokes. Most are pretty lame, but I liked a few, […]
Chuck Norris on Java | kerstins kleiner blog says:
May 14, 2009 at 2:33 am (UTC 2 )
[…] die komplette liste gibt es hier. […]
môj blog » Blog Archive » Chuck Norris jokes on Java says:
May 15, 2009 at 12:09 pm (UTC 2 )
[…] Zdroj: http://www.ovisual.com/4/ […]
Tagged Mails @ Sanjaal » Blog Archive » Chuck Norris Joke On Java says:
May 17, 2009 at 9:11 pm (UTC 2 )
[…] Chuck Norris Joke On Java Originally Posted At Ovisual.com […]
Favoris de la semaine (weekly) | Kablages says:
May 24, 2009 at 12:28 pm (UTC 2 )
[…] Chuck Norris jokes on Java | ovisual.com […]
Chuck Norris Witze über Java | Java, Webprogrammierung, Linux und mehr says:
January 25, 2010 at 5:58 pm (UTC 2 )
[…] davon gibt es bei ovisual.com […]
JSolutions.se » Chuck Norris, Java guru? says:
February 5, 2010 at 12:21 pm (UTC 2 )
[…] så här på måndag morgonen rekommenderar jag att läsa om hur Chuck Norris programmerar Java, http://www.ovisual.com/4/. Chuck Norris doesn’t write code. He stares at a computer screen until he gets the progam he […]
Millad Dagdoni's Blog says:
September 26, 2010 at 4:49 pm (UTC 2 )
[…] I love Cuck Norris Jokes! I found these online. […]
Chuck Norris and Java « Tomasz Dziurko says:
October 24, 2010 at 3:59 pm (UTC 2 )
[…] You can find more here. […]
Norris class | Seininha says:
January 18, 2011 at 4:09 pm (UTC 2 )
[…] Chuck Norris jokes on Java | ovisual.comChuck Norris’ binary edited classes ignore Java bytecode verifier. … When a CPU load a Chuck Norris class file, it doubles the speed. … […]
Funny Chuck Norris Jokes | Review Guide Live says:
October 13, 2011 at 2:35 am (UTC 2 )
[…] a good giggle in their life. These Chuck Norris Joke are sure to bring a smile to anyone’s face. Chuck Norris has been the man that many jokes have came from. Nevertheless instead of making fun of …m. Chuck Norris jokes are funny for those of all ages that have known Chuck Norris or have seen him […]